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B-IF 



A PARODY 



By GEORGE H BUCHANAN 



Published by 
ARNOLD AND COMPANY 

Philadelphia 




Copyrigfht, 1911 
By Arnold and Company, Philadelphia 



I V" V 



©C1.A292630 




If you can keep your hair 
upon your head 

While other men you know 
are losing theirs, 

If you can trust to credit 
for your bread 

And deave that knowledge 
safely to your heirs; 





i 






If you can stop the wild 
beats of your heart 

When next you gaze upon 
a pretty face, 

And say *'be still/' and play 
a Spartan part — 

Why, you're a wonder of 
the human race. 





■ 



If you can eat Welsh rare- 
bit late at night 

And not have lurid visions 
in your dreams, 

If you can poker play 'till 
morning light 

And not make inroads on 
your slender means; 








m 



If you can smoke, and drink 
all kinds of drink 

From champagne cup to 
Pilsner beer in stein, 

And steady keep, nor care 
what friends may think— 

You're in a class all by 
yourself — not mine. 



1 




If you can make the world 
believe you're pious, 

While inwardly you're 
wicked as **01d Sam," 

If you can daily lie like 
Ananias 

And never lose the faith of 
any man ; 





m 



If you can graft, and keep 
the secret hidden, 

And stow the filthy lucre 
in your bank. 

Then turn upon your tools 
when you are bidden— 

You'll make a politician of 
highest rank. 





If you can go through Hfe 
without an aim 

And shirk the work God 
gives all men to do, 

If you can tread the paths 
of sin and shame 

And think you'll never have 
to pay your due; 



Ml 








If you can cheat, and fill 
each golden minute 

With deeds of vice instead 
of honors won, 

Yours is the Earth— at least 
that part of it 

On which the county jail 
is built — my son ! 




JUL 21 mt 



One copy del. to Cat. Div. 



JUl 2t 19li 



